ADAM(BECOMING)EDEN (1)

ode.to.me

i know myself 

& that is all - (2)

a poet's only job 

    is to tell 

the truth

baruch atah adonai.

mama

who bore me

mama who gave me

no way to handle things

who made me so sad (3)

here is a fruit

for the crows to pluck

for the rain to gather

for the wind to suck (4)

mama, 

the weeping

    mama, the angels

no sleep in heaven

or 

bethlehem (3)

come on, babe

we're gonna

brush the sky (4)

violate me

in the violet time

in the vilest way

that you know (5)

spank me

    bIte me

fUck the tIght me

MOre

    WhOre

sOre (6)

mama

who bore me

mama who gave me

mama the angels

who made me 

so 

        bad (3)

i hold with those

who favor fire (7)

come on, babe

why don't we paint the town (4)

there's a part 

i can't tell (8)

a heap of broken images

come in under the shadow 

of this red rock

these fragments i have shored

against my ruin

i had not thought

death had undone so many (9)

here is a fruit

for the crows to pluck

for the rain to gather

for the wind to suck

for the sun to rot

for the trees to drop

here is 

a strange 

& bitter 

    crop (4)

are you -

    are you -

        coming to the tree? (10)

            it is a 

tree of life

for those who hold

fast to it (11)

all they say

is Trust in

what is written

wars are made

& somehow

that is wisdom

    thought is suspect

        & money is their idol

& nothing is okay 

    unless

        it's scripted in their

BIBLE (12)

I swear to tell

the whole TRUTH

        nothing 

but the TRUTH

so help me (13)

    if i abide

to your will

will i never have no pain?

    will i never have no pain?

i'm tired

but my body's hungry (14)

how about

going back to sleep

for a few minutes

    & forgetting

        all

            this

nonsense (14)

wake up

i want you 

to come with me (15)

contrary to popular belief

that is not where dreams

get accomplished (16)

there is nothing easier

than to capitalize

on drunkards (17)

    it's generous to say

you didn't think twice

you have a large brain

    but a spinal cord

would suffice (18)

some say

the world will end (19)

honestly

i can't believe

it's burning again

like the first fire (20)

the need 

to buy something

uncurled in me

like an erection (21)

just gonna stand there

& watch me burn

but that's alright 

because i like 

the way it hurts (22)

something always

brings me back to you

it never takes too long (23)

o, i'm gonna be wounded (24)

    tell me 

the name 

    of your wound (25)

o, i'm gonna be your bruise (24)

take this ode

if you wish

i have nothing 

        in it but

yOU (25)

haven't you heard

a WORD,

    how i want you? (24)

grant my last request

&

 just let me hold you

don't shrug your shoulders

lay down beside me (26)

i heard the sound of thunder 

it roared out a warnin'

heard the roar of a wave

that could drown 

the whole world (27)

unreal BODY

fear death by water (8)

i am here to kneel

where prayer

has been valid (28)

heard the song of a poet

who died in the gutter (27)

    to drown in your love

and not feel your pain (29)

ashes.ashes (30)

please be still

'cause i'm complacent here (13)

by the rivers of babylon

where we sat down

and there we wept

    when we 

remembered 

zIOn (31)

unfortunately

it was paradise (25)

how many roads 

must a man walk down (32)

i used to walk along

the opposite side of the road

and made others get out

    of my way(33)

my brother

&my sister

don't speak to me

well i don't blame them

well i don't blame them (34)

 you bring out

the darkest side of me (35)

the self indulgent man

is a slave

to pleasure

to his passions (36)

chased up from a place

that i can't reach (35)

in the last second of life

they're gonna show you how

how they run this show

run it into the ground (37)

i would love to practice

\what i preach (35)

it takes so many faces

to fill me up (38)

i tried to resist

but you caught me (35)

&i'm way past the brim

of this here cup (38)

i tried to dismiss

what you taught me (35)

nothing you can say

can stop me going 

hOme (39)

yOp! (40)

.

give me the ground (41)

.

HMOAH

.

you can stand 

on the arms

of the williamsburg bridge

crying 

hey man

well this is babylon (42)

i find 

shelter

in this way

under cover

hide away

can you hear

when i say

i have never felt this way (43)

couldn't keep it in

heaven knows

            i tried (44)

something 

    has changed

within me

    something 

is not the same

    i'm through with 

            playing 

by the rules of

 someone else's game

too late for 

second guessing

    too late 

to go back to sleep

it's time to trust 

my instincts

    close my eyes

&

leAP* (45)

arise

thy light is come (46)

(hands in gassho)

Every day in every way

with every sentient being

rooted Deep In Our mother

i reach for the sun&perfection

may i be the light&flame

may i be the buddha

(bow.raise bodhi mind)

May I BE

(bow.raise bodhi mind)

May I SEE

(bow.raise bodhi mind)

May I again return to ME (47)

somewhere

over the rainbow (48)

i hold with those

who favor

lIght (49)

sUn in the sky

you know how i feel

breeze driftin' on by

you know how i feel

it's a new dawn

it's a new day

it's a new life

for me (50)

& 

all shall fade

the flowers of spring

the world and all the sorrow

at the heart of everything

but still it stays

the butterfly sings (51)

sleep in peace

when day is done :

that's what i mean

and this old world is a new world and a BOLD world

for me (50)

I've heard it said

that people come 

into our lives 

    for a reason

bringing something 

we must learn 

and we are lead

to those 

who help us 

most to grow

If we let them (52)

blackbird singing

in the dead of night (53)

the way you wear your hat

the way you sip your tea (54)

take these broken wings

&learn to fly (53)

the memory of all that

into the light

of the dark black night (53)

no

no

they can't take that away 

from me (54)

so let me

say

before we part

so much of me

is made from what

i learned from you

you'll be with me

like a handprint 

on my heart (52)

i want you 

to come with me

wake up

i am a hole

PUNched out of the sky

    i am a fallen shard of dreams

trying to fold itself into the dust (15)

i will show you fear 

in a handful of dust (8) 

do i dare disturb the universe?

in a minute there is time

for decisions and revisions which 

a minute will reverse

i have measured out my life 

with sugar spoons (55)

in the most delightful way (56)

i swallow the universe

and find myself still inside

drown me into matter

    force me back into 

feeling and form

follow your skin

i 

am sewing 

my return

to the sky

(you)

are the source

the point from which

i pivot

imagine the moment

pull it down the spine of time

i catch hold

of your hand

    and feel 

(you)

        inside

            me

breathe in 

clamor

breathe out 

    stillness

how long until 

    you drink me up again,

my edges liquid & light

dissolution 

before revelation

rIse uP

    past your skin

i need 

your original face

expand without abandoning

do not be afraid

keep walking through

    the darkness

the sUn always rIses

i found my place 

to rise up from (15)

all evil karma committed by me

since of old (57)

in the mountains,

there you feel free (8)

on account of my greed

anger&ignorance (57)

i leave my self in the grass (15)

born of my body word&thought (57)

here is a testament

    to living love (15)

now i atone for it all (57)

        this

is where i am going

this is where

i will return (15)

but still

like dust

i will rise (58)

i have been

to the 

mountaintop (59)

&

I

looked uP

into your

ancient

glittering eyes (60)

            are you 

a warrior 

or 

not?

.settle back to lotus pose.

    is 

there 

something 

    in your heart?

.mountain sits.

i am

LOVE

is

.be buddha

know me

know all (61)

hmm.O.ahh

1. adam (hebrew) of this red earth/ eden (hebrew) pleasure
2. last lines of F Scott Fitzgerald's This Side of Paradise
3. Spring Awakening 'Mama Who Bore Me' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhLTx6f2bMo
4. Billie Holiday, Strange Fruit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4ZyuULy9zs
5. high school drama club tradition - hold hands&sing violate me before every performance - christmas carol like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bILVgt62ajo
6. from L to the A http://www.allisonsylvia.com/l-to-the-a/
7. Robert Frost 'Fire&Ice' http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173527 - also a tagged image on a lamppost in Williamsburg of Ai Wei Wei
8. Spring Awakening 'The Dark I know Well' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fSVz2kPk4M
9. T.S. Eliot 'The Wasteland' http://www.bartleby.com/201/1.html
10. Suzanne Collins Mockingjay
11. 'Tree of Life' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j37W0v-meVk
12. Spring Awakening 'All That's Known' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72_NTMiJGFs
13. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sworn_testimony
14. Marques Toliver 'White Sails' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzBM34cEyUU
15. Franz Kafka Metamorphosis - first thoughts when he wakes up as a bug - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Metamorphosis
16. Emma Dines Split Light
17. George Watsky 'Drunk Text Message to God' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uOhD67028I
18. quote by Anton Chekov from Gluttony, A Dictionary for the Indulgent
19. Bull Kelp 'Reflex' http://bullkelp.bandcamp.com/track/reflex
20. Bonobo's 'First Fires' from https://soundcloud.com/tipotheus/bonobo-nicolas-jaar-chet-faker
21. David David Katzman's A Greater Monster www.kickstarter.com/projects/daviddavid/a-greater-monster-a-psychedelic-tale-by-david-davi
22. Eminem featuring Rhianna 'Love the Way You Lie' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U
23. Sara Bareilles 'Gravity' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ-1cq8ibwg
24. Spring Awakening 'Word of Your Body' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ-1cq8ibwg
25. Mahmoud Darwish Unfortunately, It Was Paradise 'Mural'
26. Paolo Nutini 'Last Request' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffJ8xcfqOX0
27. Bob Dylan 'Hard Rain's Gonna Fall' http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xq1q9k_bob-dylan-a-hard-rain-s-a-gonna-fall-1964_music
28. T.S. Eliot Four Quartets 'Little Gidding'
29. Ring around the Rosie http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ring_a_Ring_o%27_Roses
30. my beloved friend Carl was the first to have the courage to tell me point.blank how he truly felt. I love him eternally. May we meet again in the EYE of GOD
31. By the Rivers of Babylon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0fSsBe5dCA
32. Bob Dylan 'Blowin' in the Wind' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqEcFUW9Ai4
33. Jason Mraz 'Halfway Home' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeYu9lWgXKo
34. James Blake 'I Never Learnt to Share' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1PYy3fELpY
35. Disclosure 'Voices' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgF4bTCYabU
36. Buddha's Fire Sermon http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/btg/btg17.htm
37. Modest Mouse 'The Stars are Projectors' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojYb-7ZPPwQ
38. Jarle Bernhoft 'So Many Faces' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OtVgj0PCyA
39. My Chemical Romance 'Famous Last Words' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bbTtPL1jRs
40. Dr. Seuss Horton Hears A Who! - we need every voice - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9AVNyn5z1o
41. Bon Iver 'Wash' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di4sQKy_VI4
42. Soul Coughing 'True Dreams of Witchita' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M__wHzrVOeU
43. XX 'Shelter' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfTfHTUUee4
44. Frozen 'Let it Go' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk
45. Wicked 'Defying Gravity' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g4ekwTd6Ig
46. Inscribed above a church door on Marcy Avenue in Bedford Stuyvesant http://biblehub.com/isaiah/60-1.htm
47. my private prayer when bowing to Buddha
48. 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSZxmZmBfnU
49. try as I might i struggle keeping up with light
50. Nina Simone 'Feeling Good' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5Y11hwjMNs
51. Spring Awakening 'Song of Purple Summer' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diidEs4Ysas
52. Wicked 'For Good' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEdnIvnCko8
53. The Beatles 'Blackbird' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrxZhWCAuQw
54. 'They Can't Take That Away From Me' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExmoiGZuiFQ
55. T.S. Eliot 'The LoveSong of J. Alfred Prufrock' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAO3QTU4PzY
56. Mary Poppins 'Just a Spoonful of Sugar' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLkp_Dx6VdI
57. Fusatsu http://buddhism.about.com/od/chanandzenbuddhism/a/fusatsu.htm
58. Maya Angelou 'Still I Rise' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXCHKWFmU2s - let it begin with me
59. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oehry1JC9Rk - you can see it in his eye.he knew he was about to die
60. it wasn't until I googled that I discovered the title of the book I passed one day on the sidewalk (http://www.amazon.com/Their-Ancient-Glittering-Eyes-Donald/dp/0899199801) was referencing a William Butler Yeats poem 'Lapis Lazuli' http://www.online-literature.com/yeats/777/
61. the senior dharma talk from the September 2014 Zen Mountain Monastery sesshin ended with this quote - Google cannot correctly identify it: can you?

thank you.thank you.thank you